Well, I soon found that not to be true. For the past few days I have been beating myself up about the temptation I gave into over the weekend and though I didn't think it was as big of an issue at the time, I soon got reminded that it really was. Not just because I did something I told God I would never do again, but also because it was something I told my wife I would never do again.
Let me tell you, the devil is sneaky. He brought a war against me this past weekend. With Missy out of town I alone the devil jumped on the opportunity. As saturday afternoon was coming to an end, the sun was going down and everyone in the good 'ol Quad Cities were heading out to celebrate their St. Patty's weekend, the devil tried to convince me that I could go out and no one would ever know. As I was just doing some things around the house, the freakin devil would not get off my back! This should have been where I started to talking to God and declared authority over the devil, but that didn't exactly happen. The devil didn't completely get ahold of me, but he still had a small victory. I did stay home, but I invited a couple friends over that deffinetly weren't "strong christians". I invited a couple friends over that I use to do a lot of sinning with. Not a good idea! The devil strategically convinced me that since I didn't give into the big temptation of going bar hopping, that it wouldn't be a huge ordeal if I just had a couple drinks in the safety of my own home. The blinders came over me and I went against the promise I made to myself, the promise I made to my wife and most importantly to God.
Back to what I was saying though. I had been condemning myself hardcore! I'd been walking around with my head held low feeling like I got this huge sign over my head that says "sinner". I walked into the church feeling like everyone is looking down upon me. I felt like the devil had been focusing all his time and energy into just trying to make me give in.
I was convinced differently tonight! I got the chance to talk with one christian brother of mine whom I kinda feel like shares some of the same struggles I do and he told me about some of the struggles he had recently. To see him humble himself and just come right out with it like he did helped me more than he might realize. I immediatly informed him of my recent struggle and to know that we were kind of on the same page made me feel a lot better. We later spoke a little more about our struggles and (1) assured each other of God's grace and that we are not alone in this battle between good and evil. (2)We reminded each other of the accountability we need to have towards our christian brothers. Whether it's before or after the fact, we need to be there for our christian brothers and sisters to not only help them fight against the temptations that come at us everyday, but to also be there to help them get back up when they have fallen.
Accountability is a powerful thing. There are things that we can't always bring to our pastor, or our wife, or even a parent, but having a group of christian brothers or sisters you can get that support from is better than just tucking it away and trying to get through it by yourself. I should have called that accountable friend of mine that night the devil was breathing on the back of my neck and I failed to, but he was there to help me get back up. Thanks bro!
2 comments:
Yeah man, lucky for us there is God's grace. And when Jesus died he said "it is FINISHED!" That means he died for our past, present AND future sins. No more condemnation. The ONLY reason sin is bad AFTER you have received Jesus as your personal savior is that it hurts others around us and violates the command that Jesus gave us to love Him first and others as ourselves.
And I couldn't agree more about the accountability thing. EVERYONE needs it, no man is an island. My accountability partner and I have started meeting on a regular basis and are reading the book "Deadly Viper Character Assassins," a character based book that focusses on character and accountability.
The best thing about realizing we have fallen down is that God give us the choice to stay down or to get back up.
Just remember, when you feel you are down you know who got boyz you can call on.
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